Once, they claimed
My heart a garden
It seemed like the flowers
Needed a place to bloom
Deep in me
Their roots devoured
A life for petals
Kissing butterflies in gutless cocoons
Drained from me
All my life
Still hungered to keep alive
Their illicit honeymoon
Within the mires
Of my dark defiance
The peat of my being
Began to loom

Once, in this world
I was led to believe
To love is to drag her
Till the heavens beyond humanity
Dismiss her dreams
With deadly grief
An infant soul
A ritual rip
An angel branded ‘casualty’
The distortions in my mirror
Now help me understand
That pain is just pleasure
For the self-righteous community
To love is to let go
Of my blissful trance
And fall into the depths
Of her hell-bound insanity

Once, in this life
I yearned to feel
Like a lamb in the hands
Of a shepherd from space
Who’d take me beyond
This human air
Floating in the void
My burdens displaced
Once, I desired
To be held inside
The warmth of the one
Who flaunts her shade
The Thief
The Ghost
My misdemeanant bride
Tangled infinitely
In her soiled


Amit Howard